Sunday, October 20, 2013

Is It My Fault He Cheated On Me?

If you’ve watched the news lately you’ve probably noticed that there’s been quite a stir over who is at fault when men cheat. A prominent televangelist has suggested that part of the responsibility should be placed on the shoulder of the woman for not making the effort to overcome genetic predispositions.

While the “men are dogs” argument doesn’t fly in all corners of the Web-o-verse, it’s probably a good idea to sit back and speculate over whether there could be some truth in the idea.

Now, I’m not advocating that men cheat or that women blindly forgive men who cheat. I’m not even saying that it’s a woman’s fault her man cheats. I am not even saying that the most diligent efforts by women will prevent cheating completely.

I can definitely say that doing these two things will definitely help keep his attention focused firmly on you and make other woman almost invisible to him. Want to know what they are?

Get His Engine Running

Slip a reason for him to come home at night into his briefcase or lunchbox each day as he sets off for work. Whether it’s a snapshot, a steamy love note, or just a code word you make up together, give him a reason to come racing home after he punches out at work for the day.

And then?

Live up to the promise you made in the morning. No matter how many things happen during your day to drag you down, you MUST make good on that promise so that he’ll know what he’s likely to get each and every time you drop one of your lunchbox/briefcase hints.

Show Him Your Adoration

Among men who cheat, the overwhelming reason why has nothing to do with the physical appearance of the other woman. In fact, most men who cheat have said they do not find the other woman more attractive than their wives. She’s not thinner, leggier, bustier, and she doesn’t have a bigger butt (sorry Mix-A-Lot).

It’s not about looks at all. The real reason men cheat on their wives, and can’t really help themselves, despite the risks it involves has to do with one thing. She makes him feel adored, flattered, admired, and respected. She doesn’t roll her eyes at his corny jokes. She clings to his arms and laughs. She makes the first move. She shows interest. She goes after him and makes him feel like THE MAN. And THAT is his Kryptonite.

How do you beat this?

It may seem like a tall order, but if you work really hard and think back to the early days when you dated, you should remember all the things you used to tell him that you don’t tell him today. You brought out the best in him by showing him that you believed he was the best and he wants that feeling back. He’s trying to recapture that when he cheats. Give him that feeling at home – and give it to him often – and he’ll never have a single reason to stray.

These two things don’t require six spinning classes a day. They don’t require a second job. And, they don’t involve major personality changes. Most of these things are the sorts of things you did when you were first together and in love. Put them to work today and never worry about a cheating husband again. Is it your fault he cheated? No, but you CAN make a difference going forward.

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